Sage

I would wake up on the cold mornings
To my moms fingers in my hair.
Three parts, tied up, braided
Now I get up to get prepared
To face the morning, the frost on all the windows.

I sit down in the kitchen.
My mother sits beside
Into my palm she places
Half of a small, grey green leaf.
I break it like she taught me
And she does the same.
Crushed between our fingers
The small does now exclaim
A smell that momma always says will be what heaven smells of
A smell that someone can't describe,
After all it is a part of nature itself-
As each of us is-
And so only comparisons suffice,
A smell of earth and home and hurt and love.

I watch momma smell her damaged leaf
She looks sadly out the window.
I know she often feels quite hurt
and the sage helps her know so.
The smell helps her remember
Not everything is good or bad
Some you just must remember.

The Serpent

The rippling snake who once chained me has left me to my fate
There was a time when I called out for you,
As I was trying to escape.
But the serpent curled tighter around my ankle,
Shackling me to the ground.
I tried to scream and reach for you,
but could never utter a sound.
My strength was gone and mind was weary
When I felt the serpent leave.
I laid there with an enduring hope that he wouldn't come back for me.
I got up to leave and cried out in pain
When I saw you standing there
The snake around your waist.
He wrapped you up from ankle to neck
You had no plan of escape.
I cried for you and ran to your side,
But you had yet to be afraid.
I ran from you and tried to think that maybe even a serpent can change.
Day after day you grew weaker
As the snake constricted your middle.
I gave up hope and thought to myself that I would have rather it have been me
God forbid that I had led him to you with all of my meager pleas.
Misery shook me as I walked my own way,
Guilt like a knife cutting through.
Years later I came up to a woman that looked much like you.
I ran and found that your heart still could beat,
The serpent had relinquished you too.
I could only cry as I marveled at our lives,
Tortured but resilient too.
Alive we fight those who hinder our dreams
Dead we will see them through.
For today, I am rejoicing to see you renewed.

The Strong Ones

The strongest face their struggles much longer.

They have less time to aimlessly wander.

Great battles of strength and mind they must face,

They ardently run into every challenge or  race.

Risking what they hope is worth nothing,

Just in case it soon comes to nothing.

They desperately hope they will be remembered,

But also they hope that the memories don't linger.

A mournful burden isn't what they hope to provide

All the while sacrificing their lives.

They battle the thought of being remembered,

their foes, the elements and their mind all at work,

Complicating and tangling a picture

Making it hard for even the strong ones to survive

As they survive they are fighting much more

Making them all the more likely to not return from their last tour.

Remember

What will they remember me by
Once it is in the ground I lie?
Could they remember all the good I tried
Or only the ways I lied?
I would hope to leave them with a good impression of me,
Of the smiling girl I used to be.
But who is to know what matters once gone
What facts we will leave to be relied upon.
Will it matter to them who I loved all my life
Or who I prayed for twice every night?
Once I am gone that will be the end of the matter
I will hope that I left that which I should have left
And loved those who can remember me best.

Climbing

Only so much air my lungs will take,
As I watch this land in which I partake.
Climbing up isn't easy
But neither is writing a daydream.
I climbed up without you
And back down again I shall go.

Your stiff embrace does little more than chill my frame.
I look upon your face with shame.
When will we be the same again?
Tell me, what was my tragic sin?
I fear that you will never again be my friend
You have no more love left to lend.

I carry on without you
I glimpse your face as I often do.
You glide away, drifting on love you didn't save.
I walk away from your haunting laugh
Maybe if I return to the mountain
All will be made plain.

Climbing up still isn't easy.
But neither is only watching.
Watching as our lives fly by,
But one day I won't have to wonder why.

Missing you

Flash backs and old memories,
are all that comes from re-reading these.
I can't help but feel a sadness return,
when it's for you that I yearn.
All alone since you left,
just flipping through pictures.
Seeing your face,
reading your words.
Sitting idly and waiting for you,
waiting to see you come into view.
But you are eluding,
on new landscapes intruding.
So still I will read and reminisce,
waiting for the day you will return looking so careless.
As if creating suspense was your only intention,
or at least the only one you care to mention.
Return quickly,
on you I wait.
Until then, I miss you.

Chasing Immortals

Door flies open,
You float through.
A ghost of me,
The present you.
I stare at you
Not amused
Where have you been?
I'm so confused.
Your hazy eyes and vacant stare
Have I always looked this unaware?
I want to make you turn away.
This isn't me!
I want to say.
But something in you strikes toward home
A roaring ache,
an unconscious moan.
This is what I will always be.
Somewhere deep inside of me.
I hear her whisper
'Funny right?
That I've always been here as you slept at night.
That all your dreams you thought were your own
Were my creations,
from my hand sown.'
I won't believe it,
I turn my head.
I refuse to let one tear be shed.
She is not who I am,
nor who I will be,
I will grow past her and never again will she meet me.
Back out the door, towards the sidewalk, I shove her.
The door once again closed and bolted.
Facing away I shutter.
A bitter, cold night to be chasing my shadows.
To never see her again is something that I can't even fathom.
No matter how many battles though,
She will never prevail,
as long as it is towards my dreams that I sail.

For Lucas. The boy who asked for poetry :)

Dying For

Dying slowly.
Dying fast.
Dying adventurously.
Dying patiently.
Dying always.
Some of us may be gone this very day,
but we can't just let it end that way.
We have to keep fighting and finding our place,
a place that no other could ever fill.
If we just lay downtrodden, on a grassy hill
connections will be broken and fate will be stopped.
No more miracles or amazing works in our plot.
I don't want to die awaiting my last breathing moment.
I want to know I've made every atonement.
If one connection is left unmade,
it could result in dismay.
No human could have planned it.
It is past definition.
But we must realize that our lives are so much bigger than us.
And worth all the fuss.
Fighting for more moments of living each day.
Making sure no human can take it away.
That type of dying will be my only way.

Forever Together

I hope as the time slips away,
quick as the sun setting at the end of each day,
you can smile as you think of me again.
I hope you could say
'I honestly love her'
as you end your day.
Maybe the memories of me would give strength to fight it,
to push back on the hands of time,
to keep me in sight.
Because if I'm not with you at the end of this night,
I'll try to come save you by the new morning light.
Hold you close and we'll push time's hands together.
Keep you safe with me, always and forever.
Never finding anything we couldn't handle.
Drawing each other in, like a moth and a candle.
Your golden glory shimmering on,
never fading.
My silver glow,
unreliable as it comes and goes.
But together I would know,
as I always do,
that as long as I'm with you I'm safe,
no danger lurking.
I would stay until I could stay no more,
and even then I would linger by your door.
As I would leave,
with despair sure to follow,
I would smile and forget the pesky hands of time.
Have them put me back to where I felt most sublime.
I'd stay wrapped up in your arms until the end of all time.

Devious things

The things that bring you to your knees.
The things that make you cry.
the ones that make you wish
you hadn't said it to him,
at least not tonight.
The things that make you wish he was better,
pray that he can be.
The things that make you ask
How is she better than me?
These stupid things that break you down,
that tear you up into shreds.
Make them go away tonight
as I lie here in my bed.
"I'm sorry" wasn't good enough tonight
to get her out of his head.
So to my misery he may be led
by my hand and no other.
Guilty am I.
As I think it, I shudder.
Alone, I suppose, I can never again be.
I can no longer seek happiness only for me.
Please take away his misery,
It is no good to me.

Slice Of Love

Set to ponder what’s important,
What’s an essential part of life
After a day like today the answer is clear.
Sitting with you, your face sincere.
Only one slice could ever surpass it.
That slice being the one that holds firm through the tests.
The slice that shows we’re past all the rest.
The slice that shows after the best day,
When the storm clouds come rolling in,
It can hold up our heads, our hands clenched tight.
The storm cannot hurt us with love protecting.
Our hands held high above our heads
we walk away victorious.
The slice I cherish pulled us through.
The slice I have because of you.
One that sustains us and keeps us whole.
The slice that can save us from the deepest cold.
The slice that exists only when the love between us persists.

Stained

My words mean so much more when ink is blending in.
The ink puts new emphasis on my skin and on my meaning.
The words last longer and look so much prettier.
Making me stronger and making me remember you.
The ink only stays for the few.

Reflecting

The reflection in your eyes makes me see all of myself in your view.
It is not the same as mine,
You like all you see.
My eyes, my face, my personality.
Each slice of me.
Each slice I might dispute,
but not when I'm with you.
You make me know what I show.
Give me a reason to love every slice.

Snowglobe

Glitter falling serenly.
Light filtering through the water,
but we aren't drowning.
We're smiling in a winter wonderland.
Watching life go by,
and we wonder why.
We are inside this globe in a peaceful place.
While joy and choas outside coincide,
but in here we are safe swimming in our peaceful tide.
We watch the holiday pass with a blur.
Not moving just smiling.
Until one day the green tree is taken down.
Our smiles turn to frowns.
We watch the clean up occur.
Until our globe is picked up.
We are shaken around,
picked up one last time.
Then we are placed in a dark box
the box we'll be in until next year's holiday.
Until then we can swim and play,
while waiting for the eventful day
when we will be the center of attention once again.

Broken but Starting New

Shiny pieces of broken things.
You try to take them away from me.
I won't let you no matter how hard you try.
Just that one fact makes you curious as to why
I'm collecting all these pieces of the long forgotten things.
Hiding them in my bedroom for only me to see.
Until one day when I can show them off,
my beautiful pieces of art.
Made from misconstrued intentions,
where others believe them to cut, stab and inflict pain,
I believe them to start new.
To seek a person to make them beautiful,
to make them whole.
A new work that is now complete giving hundreds of tiny shards hope.
Slices and slivers and shards of glass
Not hurting but simply showing off.
With a glimmer, a sparkle, and a glimpse
I'm giving these slices, slivers, and shards a purpose.

Two Birds Out of Hand

Two mocking birds fighting for glory.
Hopping from railing to railing over their territory.
Don't they sense the danger inside lurking?
Five, hungry cats watching their perching.
They seem unaffected,
As if they couldn't care less.
Much unlike the rest of the world, I do confess.
We often are found so afraid of our world.
We see it as a scary place, not something needing to be toiled.
We're so scared of this world
We won't drink the water.
We're so scared of this world
We hide our real names.
We're so scared of this world
We lock all our car doors
Our windows,
Our minds.
Nothing left open
For fear of being stolen.
But the things we should really protect
We seldom do.
We leave our self confidence to be wrecked,
Our smiles to falter,
and our hearts to be broken.
Our clothes to be judged
and our minds to be ashamed.
But the mocking birds didnt care.
They struted around
Their wings all a-flutter,
Their uniqueness showed proudly.
Where the humans,
"The greatest race",
Sits and hides inside
Afraid to let the sunshine grace the skin they hold so dear.

Listening

My best friend says she's always listening.
Maybe she is but never recieving
the words that I say with any meaning.
It makes me distressed that I'm losing her
because she is mad about what she is perceiving.
She is perceiving what's not true,
a wall that I put up.
And now she's almost gone,
With no one left to blame.
I wish she would listen
and treat me like I'm just the same.
Instead of scanning through and not seeing my name.