Short Story just because

I grew up with and lived vivaciously through Sam. He let me tag along to everything and stood up for me to all of his friends. As he hugged me at his graduation though, there was only one thing I could think about- I knew something about Sam that no one else did.
Sam would joke with me always that I would forever be alone. Little did he know that he would be as well. Sam met Laine in the first semester of his Junior yearor high school. Personally Laine wasn't my favorite person. She had light brown hair that she kept long enough that you were sure she had intentions of weaving a noose for you out of it. But Sam was smitten. He adored Laine enough that one day as I was leaving his house quietly after playing video games and doing homework he pulled me aside. "Mill, you can't come over tomorrow."  That was all he said. He shrugged and closed the door. I walked home alone calmly. I was sure that this was just a phase, sure that he would say sorry, sure that you couldn't lose a best friend that fast. But Sam didnt talk to me for months. I would like to think that Sam realized that this left me utterly alone. Sam would sometimes leave me notes in my locker with little quotes, but when he would smile towards me at school Laine would step between us. He would mouth 'Millie, I'll see you later' before Laine would glare at him and then turn to me. "Mildred, please go darken a different doorway. Your presence suffocates me." I waited for him to stand up to her like he had to everyone else before. Sam never did.
It wasn't until that year with Laine was over before Sam spoke to me again. During spring break he knocked on my door and invited me over. I followed him cautiously back to his familiar living room in his familiar house that contained a not so familiar boy now. Apparently Laine had decided that I wasn't a threat. After all, she was a much classier and much more like Sam than I was. To his credit, Sam was very good at pretending nothing had happened. He would even talk about Laine all the time. As I always did before I would listen and nod. I'm not sure Sam knew that he was my world and that I never talked about my life because I virtually didn't have one, but I think he realized it when he lost his world- and mine as well.Sam and Laine lasted a little more than a year. Sam didn't extrapolate on why he broke up with Laine, but I could tell it was like an acid devouring his insides. He didn't talk very much at all anymore. I had thought he had finally realized he was dating a contemptible egomaniac, but I was mistaken. Sam would look at me blankly sometimes as if I was someone else. It was hard to be silent at those times when all of my body was telling me to hug him. After some time Sam started talking to me again. Alarmingly, he started talking about Laine. He only muttered about how she was good and friendly and perfect. I wished he would come to his senses and realize that he had left her for a reason. During one of his muttering rants Sam grew quiet. He turned to me with wide eyes and whispered "I never loved Laine..." He abruptly left the room then and I heard him go to his room and close the door. I picked up my back pack and walked home. I was pretty sure Sam had gone crazy.
After that day we didn't play video games any more. I would read a book while Sam stared at my face and talked. In these weeks I realized more and more why Sam had left Laine. I realized that every smile he had with Laine and every day he had abandoned me had been a lie. Sam had somehow never loved this girl. Never mind the fact that she was cold and impossible to love anyway. Sam had tried to love for more than a year and failed. I watched him begin to fear that he couldn't love at all. But I knew it for sure: Sam would never be in love.
After Sam regained his composure he found other girls to date. These girls he made sure would tolerate our friendship. These girls were confused by Sam letting a younger girl follow him like a puppy. They didn't know Sam like I did. They didn't know that he would never love them. One by one these girls faded from the picture and it was just me and Sam again. Another year passed and Sam graduated. That summer Sam looked at me and told me he loved me. I wish I could have believed him, because it broke his heart that I was the only one he couldn't pretend with. But I couldn't let Sam pretend to love the only girl that ever loved him without any hope of receiving love in return.

Apologies and Letting Go

It has definitely been a lonnggggg time. For that I apologize, I hear music and have good intentions of posting but they never come to fruition. One I've been thinking of putting up is Apologies by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. It's a pretty song and I like her voice.
Hmmm. Oh yeah, my long estranged band of honorable mention came back to me. Passenger has a song called Let Her Go that I enjoyed listening to the other day as I chanced upon it.

On a more personal note I'm coming up on my two year anniversary! While in the grander scheme of things that isn't a long time, I'm grateful everyday for the amazing days and chances for more.

Pandora just started playing Look What You've Done -Jet, it is Throwback Thursday after all :p

Well, I'll probably think of some amazing song that I forgot and be back on here soon. À bientôt

A Drop in the Ocean -Ron Pope; Car crash+ Modern Love -Matt Nathanson

http://youtu.be/7hZpo1ZJDxM
I love this song! It comes on my pandora and I just dance.... Badly.... But still! :) His voice is exceptionally pretty, he could sing the Abc's and I'd be pretty happy. I hope you like him as much as I do!
I keep having Matt Nathanson songs come to my attention and these two are my favorites of the moment. I like car crash because even though its on a more melancholy note lyrics wise it still has a fast pace. Modern love cracks me up with the "watch your back- I'm nobody's girlfriend" line. I just really enjoy these two, they stick out from the crowd of music I've been listening to.
Hope you like them!

The Serpent

The rippling snake who once chained me has left me to my fate
There was a time when I called out for you,
As I was trying to escape.
But the serpent curled tighter around my ankle,
Shackling me to the ground.
I tried to scream and reach for you,
but could never utter a sound.
My strength was gone and mind was weary
When I felt the serpent leave.
I laid there with an enduring hope that he wouldn't come back for me.
I got up to leave and cried out in pain
When I saw you standing there
The snake around your waist.
He wrapped you up from ankle to neck
You had no plan of escape.
I cried for you and ran to your side,
But you had yet to be afraid.
I ran from you and tried to think that maybe even a serpent can change.
Day after day you grew weaker
As the snake constricted your middle.
I gave up hope and thought to myself that I would have rather it have been me
God forbid that I had led him to you with all of my meager pleas.
Misery shook me as I walked my own way,
Guilt like a knife cutting through.
Years later I came up to a woman that looked much like you.
I ran and found that your heart still could beat,
The serpent had relinquished you too.
I could only cry as I marveled at our lives,
Tortured but resilient too.
Alive we fight those who hinder our dreams
Dead we will see them through.
For today, I am rejoicing to see you renewed.

Drunk -Ed Sheeran

One of my best friends is obsessed with Ed Sheeran and its all her stereo blasted the whole time we were at her house. I really liked this song, it matched my mood at the time. I still really like it, it prevails above my ever changing moods. It does not prevail above my crappy youtube app though. But I trust that everyone is just as adept at using a search bar as I am.
"A house gets cold when you cut the heating, but without you to hold I'll be freezing."
His whole album is good and I was super excited today when So You Think You Can Dance was showing him some love. They were using his song as one of the choreography songs and I was bouncing up and down going Hey!  I know that song!!
Enjoy!

The Strong Ones

The strongest face their struggles much longer.

They have less time to aimlessly wander.

Great battles of strength and mind they must face,

They ardently run into every challenge or  race.

Risking what they hope is worth nothing,

Just in case it soon comes to nothing.

They desperately hope they will be remembered,

But also they hope that the memories don't linger.

A mournful burden isn't what they hope to provide

All the while sacrificing their lives.

They battle the thought of being remembered,

their foes, the elements and their mind all at work,

Complicating and tangling a picture

Making it hard for even the strong ones to survive

As they survive they are fighting much more

Making them all the more likely to not return from their last tour.

Near To You -A Fine Frenzy

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O_CwkdXfAhg

I really like this song for the dramatic turn around and just how pretty it is!  I really like the dark

change that occurs in the middle because it adds a richness to the song that keeps it interesting. I have really liked this artist ever since I found her, 

I hope you feel the same!

Just the way you are -Boyce avenue cover

I heard this version on Pandora today and I really like the acoustic version. Plus all the talent going on :p That certainly helps! Its really looking like spring around here. It's strange to me that I can forget this transition period when it happens every year... But none the less, a pretty song for a pretty day.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GhFSgnvKqm4

All We Are -Matt Nathanson

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j1ZWxbm_9s4
I like this song for the simplicity. It has good sounding chords and harmonies without over complicating. 
We could all use some simplicity in our day. Hope you like it!

For the sake of sharing

So I read this article and laughed so hard that I cried a little bit. Apparently people can pass of huge ferrets as poodles. And somehow it worked! The picture cracks me up because I just can't imagine that a well groomed ferret was actually purchased instead of a poodle!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/08/ferrets-rodents-sold-as-toy-poodles-argentina_n_3037094.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopularhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/08/ferrets-rodents-sold-as-toy-poodles-argentina_n_3037094.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Remember

What will they remember me by
Once it is in the ground I lie?
Could they remember all the good I tried
Or only the ways I lied?
I would hope to leave them with a good impression of me,
Of the smiling girl I used to be.
But who is to know what matters once gone
What facts we will leave to be relied upon.
Will it matter to them who I loved all my life
Or who I prayed for twice every night?
Once I am gone that will be the end of the matter
I will hope that I left that which I should have left
And loved those who can remember me best.

New Yellowcard, Old Yellowcard and Hey Monday

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=rabWTuijNbM
Found this song when the Internet informed me that I had been living under a rock and didn't realize that
Yellowcard had a new album. This is Here I am Alive. Next we have Way Away as our old Yellowcard.
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?feature=related&v=k4t5qqdP7As
So apparently Cassadee Pope (Hey Monday singer) won The Voice last season. I mentioned I was under a rock :p
Just letting you guys know but I put Hey Monday up here first :p 
Wish You Were Here
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ehhY08QsraE

Smells Like Teen Spirit -2 Cellos

Sooner or later I will have to embrace that there are many ways of listening. One of which has become T's favorite. He is really into the no words orchestral stuff right now and it's growing on me.  After losing a member of my family this morning, sooner is becoming all the more important than later. Stay well
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TBnsj5JBBDI

Proverbs 18:13

"He who answers before listening- that is his folly and his shame."
I'm a little frustrated with my mom for this right now. I don't know where inherited my love of listening from, certainly not from her.  Who knows maybe she just listens to a different song than I do.  But proverbs agrees with me that listening is a good thing!
Also, I stayed up to finish the last book of one of my favorite trilogies.  Reached, by Ally Condie, was well worth the wait and I liked how it concluded everything.
Farewell and to all a good day/morning/night :p

Light On -David Cook

I woke up and thought about this song, so here it is. I haven't heard it in a long time!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HKIerRHM_E4
Well, have a good day!

Wouldn't It Be Lovely -Diana Panton

Don't ask me what the correlation between Sleeping with Sirens and this is. I couldn't dream of explaining it. But today I got home and sought out jazz music. This is what I found and I like it very much.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SJL5jog7jZk&feature=related

Also, she has a song called And I Love Him. If you are wishing for seconds it's very good.
Salud! 

Do it now, remember it later-Sleeping with Sirens

Never heard Sleeping with Sirens until today. I must admit, I think Kellin has the same range as me :p
Regardless, I like the song in a teen angst, screamo kind of way. I will definitely listen to some more.
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?feature=related&v=7HjBq9aZ9cw

Speaking of more, I've posted 'Iris' up here before and I still love it and guess who does a cover of it
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cyOqIKGbYkg
Tah-dah!
Hope you like it!

Public Spaces

In English class yesterday we read a sheet that was arguing about how people all say things in private that they wouldn't say otherwise and that the real crime is exposing what people say in private. Well, I don't agree with that. I think that if you are going to say it in private even if you don't want someone to know you shouldn't be surprised if they find out! People from my own personal life that I talk about here all have this address, so I run the risk of them reading this everyday. But this is how I feel and that is why I write it and I have no shame in that.  When you begin talking in private about things you would be disowned or hated for isn't that a sign to you? Either there isn't a reason that they would hate you for it (unlikely) or you really should be telling someone, in public, your views to get the problem fixed. Yes I understand that in certain cases like government workers there are lines. But to most of us that doesn't apply. So- I propose that we take responsibility for our actions, and our voices.

Hundred; Vienna -The Fray

I like the piano in this song and just this whole album in general.
"And who's to say its wrong? And who's to say that it's not right?"
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KfZrkjB53dg

I'm contemplating to put more of their album up here.... Hmmmm. See the problem is I listen to this
album in the car so I have no idea which songs I like by name :p Ah here we go!

Vienna
"There's really no way to reach me. There's really no way to reach me because I'm already gone.
Only so many words we can say spoken upon long distance melody."
"Maybe in five or ten we'll meet again and straighten this whole thing out. Maybe then honesty need
not be feared as friend or an enemy."
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwrel&v=Y6dQwKx7Vd8

Taylor Swift Red Album

Got 'Red' the other day and, as cause and effect often does, now I am here!

All Too Well
"I know it's long gone and that magic's not here no more and I might be ok but I'm not fine at all."
"Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much, maybe this thing was a masterpiece until you tore it all up. Running scared I was there, I remember it all too well. And you call me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest. I'm a crumpled up piece of paper because I remember it all, all, all too well."
This song is perfect for this week because I was having dinner with my ex-boyfriend and his girlfriend (did I mention she was my best friend and he left me for her?) and he ranted about how everything in his past was a terrible mistake and and how he was so stupid to do some things. Because of him I'm missing the best boy I've ever known. But you know, I'm with Taylor. I think he remembers it all too well. Maybe knowing that will help me out.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=plpp&v=uETY6suJ0l8

I Knew You Were Trouble
Continuing on, above mentioned exboyfriend? I knew he was trouble... Now I feel bad for it.
"No apologies. he'll never see you cry. Pretends he doesn't know that he's the reason why you're drowning."
"And the saddest fear comes creeping in, that you never loved me or her, or anyone"
Most of all I'm scared for her. After all she was my best friend!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vNoKguSdy4Y

Begin Again
So T has been what I've needed for a long time. He changed my mind about love.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cMPEd8m79Hw

This album isn't like the first stuff Taylor came out with, but I like that its following her path in life
And that she's honest with her feelings. Hope everybody enjoys!

Incredible Love -Ingrid Michaelson

I have been really digging jazz lately and this has that same silky smooth feel for me. I really enjoy it, even with its dark side (cough cough Kelly Clarkson :p [but I like her songs as well so it's all in good spirits here!]), and I hope you guys will too.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K289q5gQAgA&feature=related#/watch?v=K289q5gQAgA&feature=related
Sooo how is your year so far? Only 358 left right? ;)