Tonight Tonight

Nights with you can make everything seem better. Troy used to come and save me but now it's you. I don't know, maybe you are one and the same. I just can't let it end the same way I know that. I can't give up on this story. It's our life. Thank you for trying so hard to make it better. Thank you for not saying the things I already know you want me to hear and I already know.
T,
You're saving me from the nightmare. Ask me about him someday. The stories are good ones. Iodine lutetium vanadium uranium

I'm more mature than you can ever hope of being

You used my one vulnerable moment to break down 13 years of trust. I thought I knew you better than that. Then just to leave it with another to sustain my punishment... I'm disappointed. I had hoped maybe you had figured it out by now that I'm not a puppy. You made a commitment, you have to keep it. So act like it's not just your looks that are grown up. Take on the disciplinary action it takes and stop hiding from me. You're not fooling anyone. I grew out of that a while ago. Maybe that's the problem.

Song of the night: Haunted by Taylor Swift
"Come on. Come on. Don't leave me like this. I thought I had you figured out.... Something's gone terribly wrong. Won't finish what you started."

Broken but Starting New

Shiny pieces of broken things.
You try to take them away from me.
I won't let you no matter how hard you try.
Just that one fact makes you curious as to why
I'm collecting all these pieces of the long forgotten things.
Hiding them in my bedroom for only me to see.
Until one day when I can show them off,
my beautiful pieces of art.
Made from misconstrued intentions,
where others believe them to cut, stab and inflict pain,
I believe them to start new.
To seek a person to make them beautiful,
to make them whole.
A new work that is now complete giving hundreds of tiny shards hope.
Slices and slivers and shards of glass
Not hurting but simply showing off.
With a glimmer, a sparkle, and a glimpse
I'm giving these slices, slivers, and shards a purpose.

Life in a Seed

Today a friend said something to me
about how our lives revolved around trees.
It's a funny thing how true he was.
We all cling to trees like a mossy, green fuzz.
Almost as if the life within them seeps into our veins
making all petty thoughts seem vain.
When you're getting life from something,
and someone steals it from you,
it feels like your heart is breaking.
That's how I feel everytime I see someone slicing up a tree.
They don't know whose memories that bark contains.
What fingerprints underneath it may remain.
How can they slice up such a beautiful thing?
Don't they see what a tree can nourish in everything?
The happiness of which it can make me sing?
I just want them to see that there is,
and should always be,
something more important
than the paper they hope to be exporting.
There are teenagers leaning, smiling.
Colors changing, making beauty.
Children playing, climbing.
Adults watching, remembering
when it was them feeling nature's life.
Letting it lead them to better places.
Places that made them who they are,
Made them want to save that life
because there is always some one who needs
the life that starts as a seed.

Memories

If a slice of your life is all you remember,
Which slice of life would you want to take with you?
Would it be time with your bestfriend?
Or is it the rules that you would try to bend?
Bend them so you could keep it all.
Every moment of every single day
waiting at your finger tips for you to push play.
But that wouldn't be the case if the rules held firm.
Away from memories you would be faced to turn.
I hope you would never regret which slice you choose.
Just know my slice would include you.

There's certain things that aren't the same once they're split up.
Kind of like a smore without the chocolate.
Then there's things you don't want to cut up.
Like when you look at that cake and just want it all.
You and I are like both.
We shouldn't be apart in any way.
A new slice of memories everyday.
But yet it is never worth it just to remember one.
Every day I spend with you is tons of fun.
I want to remember not just one,
but each and every.
A slice is all I need,
but with only that I won't be satisfied

Two Birds Out of Hand

Two mocking birds fighting for glory.
Hopping from railing to railing over their territory.
Don't they sense the danger inside lurking?
Five, hungry cats watching their perching.
They seem unaffected,
As if they couldn't care less.
Much unlike the rest of the world, I do confess.
We often are found so afraid of our world.
We see it as a scary place, not something needing to be toiled.
We're so scared of this world
We won't drink the water.
We're so scared of this world
We hide our real names.
We're so scared of this world
We lock all our car doors
Our windows,
Our minds.
Nothing left open
For fear of being stolen.
But the things we should really protect
We seldom do.
We leave our self confidence to be wrecked,
Our smiles to falter,
and our hearts to be broken.
Our clothes to be judged
and our minds to be ashamed.
But the mocking birds didnt care.
They struted around
Their wings all a-flutter,
Their uniqueness showed proudly.
Where the humans,
"The greatest race",
Sits and hides inside
Afraid to let the sunshine grace the skin they hold so dear.

Candy corn

I have a bestfriend who I haven't seen in a while. She always calls me Candy. It's so weird considering I'm a lot sillier than I am sweet :) She means well though. She's had a lot of hard times in her life and I love her for it. She can make me smile and is such a DRAMA QUEEN. (In a good way ;P) She knows that I'm always up for a RP as long as she doesnt go TOO crazy. I really hope she finds her happiness again soon. It's not totally gone but she seems to have misplaced it. I hope she enjoys her face sack everyday :) Yep, I'm talking about you.

Just Listening in a different way

One of my favorite things is music. If you can love a song with a person, you'll probably love the person. Music is one of the greatest ways to express our selves that we were ever given. I love all types of music, I will admit that some of it goes a little over my head though. My favorite type is Alternative. It's something about the name. It means they just can't describe it any other way. My favorite Alternative bands are Yellowcard, Secondhand Serenade, Panic! at the Disco, and 3OH!3. My favorite song right now is Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift. You really have to be open minded to just decide to listen to any type of music someone recommends to you, so for all of my open minded listeners this is the label for you. When I find a new song I love I'll post it and why I love it. Post a response if you love it too :)

Main Idea

I write poetry. I like to sing. I love my friends. But I'm typing all of this up with no hope of the people I love ever seeing it. Why? I'm not sure. All I know is my main idea of living is creating and inspiring. It's not that you dont make a difference if you don't, but you aren't helping. I have the most inspiring boy best friend in the whole world and a wonderful little sister. Yet, this is the smaller circle of what I want my inspiration to reach. Also, I just want to tell someone. Someone out there who is Just Listening. (If you've read Sarah Dessen's books this should sound familiar) Don't think or judge. Just listen

Listening

My best friend says she's always listening.
Maybe she is but never recieving
the words that I say with any meaning.
It makes me distressed that I'm losing her
because she is mad about what she is perceiving.
She is perceiving what's not true,
a wall that I put up.
And now she's almost gone,
With no one left to blame.
I wish she would listen
and treat me like I'm just the same.
Instead of scanning through and not seeing my name.