Don't you just hate it when everyone seems to rely on one answer? Time just stops and everyone freezes and waits for you to spit out the answer they want to hear? "I stand up with shaking hands, all eyes on me. Horrified looks from everyone in the room but I'm only looking at you." (Speak now by Taylor Swift) Even without being able to look at you while talking I know which answers need some tweaking from the truth. I try to be honest all the time for you. But then sometimes I know that it doesn't matter. Sure, I might want you to stay, but there are better ways to use your time than trying to fix pieces of glass that are broken. We already tried that. It didnt work.
Plus, "fine" is a relative term. Compared to some, I am much more than fine. I am downright blessed. I have so much and I dont even realize it and there are people with nothing who hurt everyday and dont say a word. So yes, I'm fine. But compared to how you want me to be, no I am messed up. But the funny thing is, you can console me and it'll help but I'll still have to make up the difference myself. So I won't make you fix me when I'm capable of doing it myself, That's just silly. I'm sorry I can't be honest with you about that. But I know that fine knows no limits. I just have to tell myself I'm fine and I will be again until another tide comes in. At that point I hope you'll be able to laugh at me as I come out of the water with my soaking wet hair over my face like seaweed and I'm spluttering out water and giggling while trying to make my bathing suit look like a bathing suit again.
I'll be ok you just gotta wait it out. My love for you and this world will wait it out too :)
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