TJ 2,

How did you become this? I miss the old you that read this and loved me. Yes I treat it like my baby. This is where my feelings go and I kinda care about those. Sorry if I cant deal with everything. I still love you at least

TJ,

First of all, Tigerlily sends her regards (by pulling a Miss Mae on me may I add). Sweetie you mean so much to me. I'm posting this on the hope that you'll find it on your own. You might not though. But you can't be scared anymore. When you're scared I know you're thinking of doing something drastic, so I think of something more drastic to stop you. It's a vicious cycle that we don't need to go through anymore. I'll do anything to weaken the blow to you next time the worst comes. But I need you to know that you'll be okay. I'm not going to let any of hit you harder than I can manage to block. If I can weaken the blow I'll do all I can. Because you are my sunshine :) My Only Sunshine

N,

I loved you. I cared for you. I never told you that you were too big and that to make me happy you needed to lose weight! So please stop talking to me about how much better she is. Please? You're messing me up! You left me for her I get it. But do we have to drag this out?

ML Part 2,

If I didn't know any better I would assume that you frequent my blog because today you made my day so much better. Readers, I had an awful day today. Driving is not going to be an action I will enjoy may I tell you. To make it worse, a fellow student made fun of me with me right behind him today. And ML, you were with them. When I confronted you though, you confirmed why I like you. You have a genuine caring for people. Who would have imagined?! I think maybe I can try and be your friend now that I've seen that side of you. Who knows what the future will hold! (Hopefully no car crashes!)
 Here, I digress:Also, I had to clean outside with my hands in a bucket of water today in a lightning storm! I was terrified. I almost got electrocuted! Oh well, I lived :)

ML,

So I saw you today hanging out with your boyfriend. For some reason you got this really awful look on your face when you saw me :P I don't know what I did to offend you honestly. If anything you're the one who has been less than pleasant to me. I like you though. I understand why you act like you do most of the time, with the exception of your attitude towards me. I really wish we could be friends even though we aren't from the same social group. I thought maybe we could be since you started initiating conversation. Maybe I was wrong, but regardless I hope you are happy :) Hopefully life treats you nicely. I'd help you in math if you asked.

Disrespectful

Dear Disrespectful,
Yelling won't help you get listened to. Here I am typing and you are screaming and all you are achieving is raising my heart rate and making me upset. I don't respect you for your loud voice and your violent mannerisms. I would prefer you kept to yourself and started a blog or something :P

Emily

Emily,
The look in your daddy's eyes when he talks about you amazes me.  He loves you so much sweetie. There's more love for you in him than I think there is in my parents combined. He's hurting, Emily. He misses you and your mom. Maybe he didn't say that to me exactly, but I can tell. I know that I put on a happy face and now I know that he does too. But we need to help him. He can't always have a hurt and sadness in him. I don't know why it hurt me so bad to know about everything. I think it was because I knew that he would say he isn't okay. I hope that you and your mommy could help me make him better. I believe that God had a reason and whether or not my knowledge of it is the main reason , I know that helping him and talking about you can make me better. Emily, give me faith that God can heal and that I can be as loved as you are.

A song I'd like to pair with this is Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne. It's a sweet song and I hope when you hear it you can remember your love for someone you've lost. Love and let go

I'm more mature than you can ever hope of being

You used my one vulnerable moment to break down 13 years of trust. I thought I knew you better than that. Then just to leave it with another to sustain my punishment... I'm disappointed. I had hoped maybe you had figured it out by now that I'm not a puppy. You made a commitment, you have to keep it. So act like it's not just your looks that are grown up. Take on the disciplinary action it takes and stop hiding from me. You're not fooling anyone. I grew out of that a while ago. Maybe that's the problem.

Song of the night: Haunted by Taylor Swift
"Come on. Come on. Don't leave me like this. I thought I had you figured out.... Something's gone terribly wrong. Won't finish what you started."