Short Story just because

I grew up with and lived vivaciously through Sam. He let me tag along to everything and stood up for me to all of his friends. As he hugged me at his graduation though, there was only one thing I could think about- I knew something about Sam that no one else did.
Sam would joke with me always that I would forever be alone. Little did he know that he would be as well. Sam met Laine in the first semester of his Junior yearor high school. Personally Laine wasn't my favorite person. She had light brown hair that she kept long enough that you were sure she had intentions of weaving a noose for you out of it. But Sam was smitten. He adored Laine enough that one day as I was leaving his house quietly after playing video games and doing homework he pulled me aside. "Mill, you can't come over tomorrow."  That was all he said. He shrugged and closed the door. I walked home alone calmly. I was sure that this was just a phase, sure that he would say sorry, sure that you couldn't lose a best friend that fast. But Sam didnt talk to me for months. I would like to think that Sam realized that this left me utterly alone. Sam would sometimes leave me notes in my locker with little quotes, but when he would smile towards me at school Laine would step between us. He would mouth 'Millie, I'll see you later' before Laine would glare at him and then turn to me. "Mildred, please go darken a different doorway. Your presence suffocates me." I waited for him to stand up to her like he had to everyone else before. Sam never did.
It wasn't until that year with Laine was over before Sam spoke to me again. During spring break he knocked on my door and invited me over. I followed him cautiously back to his familiar living room in his familiar house that contained a not so familiar boy now. Apparently Laine had decided that I wasn't a threat. After all, she was a much classier and much more like Sam than I was. To his credit, Sam was very good at pretending nothing had happened. He would even talk about Laine all the time. As I always did before I would listen and nod. I'm not sure Sam knew that he was my world and that I never talked about my life because I virtually didn't have one, but I think he realized it when he lost his world- and mine as well.Sam and Laine lasted a little more than a year. Sam didn't extrapolate on why he broke up with Laine, but I could tell it was like an acid devouring his insides. He didn't talk very much at all anymore. I had thought he had finally realized he was dating a contemptible egomaniac, but I was mistaken. Sam would look at me blankly sometimes as if I was someone else. It was hard to be silent at those times when all of my body was telling me to hug him. After some time Sam started talking to me again. Alarmingly, he started talking about Laine. He only muttered about how she was good and friendly and perfect. I wished he would come to his senses and realize that he had left her for a reason. During one of his muttering rants Sam grew quiet. He turned to me with wide eyes and whispered "I never loved Laine..." He abruptly left the room then and I heard him go to his room and close the door. I picked up my back pack and walked home. I was pretty sure Sam had gone crazy.
After that day we didn't play video games any more. I would read a book while Sam stared at my face and talked. In these weeks I realized more and more why Sam had left Laine. I realized that every smile he had with Laine and every day he had abandoned me had been a lie. Sam had somehow never loved this girl. Never mind the fact that she was cold and impossible to love anyway. Sam had tried to love for more than a year and failed. I watched him begin to fear that he couldn't love at all. But I knew it for sure: Sam would never be in love.
After Sam regained his composure he found other girls to date. These girls he made sure would tolerate our friendship. These girls were confused by Sam letting a younger girl follow him like a puppy. They didn't know Sam like I did. They didn't know that he would never love them. One by one these girls faded from the picture and it was just me and Sam again. Another year passed and Sam graduated. That summer Sam looked at me and told me he loved me. I wish I could have believed him, because it broke his heart that I was the only one he couldn't pretend with. But I couldn't let Sam pretend to love the only girl that ever loved him without any hope of receiving love in return.

Apologies and Letting Go

It has definitely been a lonnggggg time. For that I apologize, I hear music and have good intentions of posting but they never come to fruition. One I've been thinking of putting up is Apologies by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. It's a pretty song and I like her voice.
Hmmm. Oh yeah, my long estranged band of honorable mention came back to me. Passenger has a song called Let Her Go that I enjoyed listening to the other day as I chanced upon it.

On a more personal note I'm coming up on my two year anniversary! While in the grander scheme of things that isn't a long time, I'm grateful everyday for the amazing days and chances for more.

Pandora just started playing Look What You've Done -Jet, it is Throwback Thursday after all :p

Well, I'll probably think of some amazing song that I forgot and be back on here soon. À bientôt

A Drop in the Ocean -Ron Pope; Car crash+ Modern Love -Matt Nathanson

http://youtu.be/7hZpo1ZJDxM
I love this song! It comes on my pandora and I just dance.... Badly.... But still! :) His voice is exceptionally pretty, he could sing the Abc's and I'd be pretty happy. I hope you like him as much as I do!
I keep having Matt Nathanson songs come to my attention and these two are my favorites of the moment. I like car crash because even though its on a more melancholy note lyrics wise it still has a fast pace. Modern love cracks me up with the "watch your back- I'm nobody's girlfriend" line. I just really enjoy these two, they stick out from the crowd of music I've been listening to.
Hope you like them!

The Serpent

The rippling snake who once chained me has left me to my fate
There was a time when I called out for you,
As I was trying to escape.
But the serpent curled tighter around my ankle,
Shackling me to the ground.
I tried to scream and reach for you,
but could never utter a sound.
My strength was gone and mind was weary
When I felt the serpent leave.
I laid there with an enduring hope that he wouldn't come back for me.
I got up to leave and cried out in pain
When I saw you standing there
The snake around your waist.
He wrapped you up from ankle to neck
You had no plan of escape.
I cried for you and ran to your side,
But you had yet to be afraid.
I ran from you and tried to think that maybe even a serpent can change.
Day after day you grew weaker
As the snake constricted your middle.
I gave up hope and thought to myself that I would have rather it have been me
God forbid that I had led him to you with all of my meager pleas.
Misery shook me as I walked my own way,
Guilt like a knife cutting through.
Years later I came up to a woman that looked much like you.
I ran and found that your heart still could beat,
The serpent had relinquished you too.
I could only cry as I marveled at our lives,
Tortured but resilient too.
Alive we fight those who hinder our dreams
Dead we will see them through.
For today, I am rejoicing to see you renewed.

Drunk -Ed Sheeran

One of my best friends is obsessed with Ed Sheeran and its all her stereo blasted the whole time we were at her house. I really liked this song, it matched my mood at the time. I still really like it, it prevails above my ever changing moods. It does not prevail above my crappy youtube app though. But I trust that everyone is just as adept at using a search bar as I am.
"A house gets cold when you cut the heating, but without you to hold I'll be freezing."
His whole album is good and I was super excited today when So You Think You Can Dance was showing him some love. They were using his song as one of the choreography songs and I was bouncing up and down going Hey!  I know that song!!
Enjoy!

The Strong Ones

The strongest face their struggles much longer.

They have less time to aimlessly wander.

Great battles of strength and mind they must face,

They ardently run into every challenge or  race.

Risking what they hope is worth nothing,

Just in case it soon comes to nothing.

They desperately hope they will be remembered,

But also they hope that the memories don't linger.

A mournful burden isn't what they hope to provide

All the while sacrificing their lives.

They battle the thought of being remembered,

their foes, the elements and their mind all at work,

Complicating and tangling a picture

Making it hard for even the strong ones to survive

As they survive they are fighting much more

Making them all the more likely to not return from their last tour.

Near To You -A Fine Frenzy

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O_CwkdXfAhg

I really like this song for the dramatic turn around and just how pretty it is!  I really like the dark

change that occurs in the middle because it adds a richness to the song that keeps it interesting. I have really liked this artist ever since I found her, 

I hope you feel the same!